Oh Right, There's Sin

This is the title of Chapter 4, Desperate.

My personality is such that I sometimes have unrealistic expectations. For myself, my children, my husband... my home.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."   Romans 3:23-24

I have the tendency to put an unattainable goal on our home... perfection. I don't actual think our day will be perfect... but I gear up for an easy, quiet, almost perfect day! {Not that this is impossible!} I wake early, read scriptures about patience, love, gentleness... I pray for God's strength and wisdom to be the mom my kids' need that day. And then somewhere in my mind, I start envisioning a lovely day without squabbles, crying, selfishness, frustration... you get the picture. And then when those things do show up in our day {because they always do}, I feel defeated, upset, sometimes angry... I feel like I failed.

I do absolutely believe in having high expectations and standards. In fact, we are commanded to.

"Live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love."  Ephesians 4:1-2

This has been our family's number one verse lately. We like this one too.

"But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."    1 Peter 1:15

I am called to holy living... my whole life falls under this umbrella, including how I run my home and raise my children.

So, as I prepare for each day, I feel this enormous pressure to get to the end of the day without failing.

But what is failing? What I am learning is that failing, for me, is when we are right smack in the middle of a 'situation' {i.e. melt down, sassy talk, lying, ugly attitude}, and I choose to not practice the patience, self-control, and gentleness I've prayed for. When I forget to pray right in that moment.

Because here's the truth. We live in a fallen world. There will be sin in our home from all of us. Sadly, that is reality. But, how are we living out these situations when they happen? Am I keeping my voice quiet and praying for immediate wisdom and patience? Am I helping guide my children through their argument, showing them how to talk, forgive, and love? Am I controlled and seeking wisdom in my discipline? Am I practicing humility outside of the home as well?

Once I accepted that our days WILL contain not so lovely moments {some days more than others}, I have gained a lot of peace. Yes, I want to teach my children right vs wrong, and I want to read them scriptures on how God commands us to live. But when they {and I} choose to not obey, all is not lost. We can repent... we can forgive each other. We can offer grace. If we do that throughout the day, while still trying to live a holy life, I can look back on the day as progress, lots taught and learned, and not just  a lot of mess-ups.

Sally Clarkson states it so beautifully in her book Desperate.

"The home is a battlefield where sin and selfishness must be overcome, and that the taming, subduing, and civilizing of a home will be to a woman's honor. If you see the battle and feel like you are being overcome, know that it is a perfectly natural feeling. But it is a choice you must make to not dwell in guilt, and instead embrace God's helping hand."

Must not dwell in guilt. Accept forgiveness and grace.

"Examine your heart attitude. We live in a fallen world, and there will be challenges and problems. Just as we were lost without Him, and in His mercy He saved us and granted us redemption, when we are lost as mothers, he wants to empower our lives and fill our homes with His presence. He desires to give us the strength to bring life into our homes and redeem them. God is a God of grace."

It's definitely a balance for me... my part and God's part. My part is big. But He is bigger.

"Prepare yourself for the battle and accept the limitations of your husband, children, home- and of yourself. And then, determine that you will, in time, subdue your home, overcome in the fight for the hearts of your children, and find God's joy and blessing through your obedience."

So, take a deep breath. Keep plodding on. Remember to laugh today. Don't beat yourself up. Our children are full of love for us, and they are quick to forgive. Their love is like that of Jesus. That deserves a dance party today! :)