I know my daughter and I want to every time we visit the Log Cabin Village in Fort Worth. Her aunt made her a "prairie" dress and bonnet... she loves it. And what kid doesn't think it would be awesome to climb up a ladder into a loft to sleep? Don't even get me started on sweet Ma and soft spoken Pa.
I start this post off with this because I long for a simple, quiet, purposeful life. Away from the fast-paced life that is consuming our society. Not away from community but away from busyness.
This is no secret. I naturally lean towards a slow-paced day... simple and quiet days calm my spirit and renew me. Now really, how calm can my days really be with three (almost four) little ones to care for? Calm for me means days home... playing, caring for the kids and house, doing school, talking to a friend, and lots of outside time.
This is no secret. I naturally lean towards a slow-paced day... simple and quiet days calm my spirit and renew me. Now really, how calm can my days really be with three (almost four) little ones to care for? Calm for me means days home... playing, caring for the kids and house, doing school, talking to a friend, and lots of outside time.
We recently had a "re-boot" in our home that I have also referred to as "boot camp". Bella would be more than happy to tell you all about it. :)
The last, oh say, six months have been... difficult for me. Lots of factors... stress, over-commitment, fatigue, sickness... just one of those growing pain seasons. In the process, my home was becoming a place that needed some… maintenance. When I say my home, I mean the people and the things in it.
The last, oh say, six months have been... difficult for me. Lots of factors... stress, over-commitment, fatigue, sickness... just one of those growing pain seasons. In the process, my home was becoming a place that needed some… maintenance. When I say my home, I mean the people and the things in it.
Mark took the kids camping one weekend in April and I had some wonderful re-grouping/project tackling time, and through that process, I realized that I/my family needed some "pruning". Oh, I love that word. A dear friend sent me this quote,
"When we can become skilled at selectively knowing what to prune out of our lives, what remains becomes stronger, brighter, clearer." -Lisa Byrne
So what areas needed to be pruned in our family. Well, lots of areas.
For me... my attitude, my motivation, my consistency, my priorities, my vision.
For my children... their attitudes, disobedience, discontentment, selfishness, unkind spirits.
Mark and I had some really good conversations about our vision for our family, and what we felt were big priorities for us. When you are examining what you want for your family, one thing Mark has taught me, is that you have to stay focused on your family and not look around. I don't mean, don't learn from those around you, but more of... don't compare or make decisions based on what society tells you your family should look like. That is tough. But really try to make those decisions with God and your spouse.
One huge priority for our family right now is to live simply, slowly, and intentionally. To fight the busyness that surrounds us. One way we try and do that is to not over-commit to things. Now, every family's tolerance for commitments and busyness is different... our tolerance is definitely on the low scale. Things tend to go a bit hay-wire for us if we get too busy. One thing in particular that is affected is our ability to train up our children the way we believe we are supposed to. And that affects our family as a whole.
One thing that has been on my heart lately is the current generation of children right now... and how "we" (meaning society as a whole) are raising them. If closely examined, it is down right scary. Some questions that come to mind are…
Are we raising our children to...
Are we raising our children to...
- be mindful of others and their feelings?
- be thankful without complaining?
- say thank you no matter what food is placed in front of them and thank the person who prepared it?
- not expect something all the time?
- go into a store and know there's a purpose for going in and it's not to get them something no matter how small?
- not constantly be entertained with things, activities, projects, outings, treats?
- be content to play together during the day cooperatively?
- say yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, and no sir to all adults?
- clean up after themselves, help with food preparation, help with dishes and chores around the house without complaining?
- not whine?
- not demand things?
- not interrupt people speaking... in person or on the phone?
- obey without delay?
- speak with kindness and love to everyone?
- speak with respect to their elders?
- do things for themselves?
- be humble?
- do things for themselves?
- be humble?
These simple things are lacking in a lot of adults, as well as, our children today, yes? Mine included. And I want to fight it. Will you join me?
I am burdened by the way children are running their parents lives today... dictating when and how things should be done, demanding wants and needs, acting rudely and disrespectfully to anyone that hinders their goal. It is super sad to me and even scarier. And it's a huge wake-up call to me as a mother... to go back in time when children were raised with the Bible on the kitchen table, and rules, and respect for their elders, and a strong work ethic... where laziness was not tolerated and everyone pitched in to help make a home run smoothly. Where parents' main job was not to entertain their children but to raise them, prune them, love them, nurture them... to be compassionate, kind, hard-working, tender, respectful, God seeking individuals. Where kids lived outside and ran free using their imaginations. And where parents didn't feel like they were doing their children a disservice if they didn't give their children their every heart's desire. I think, we as parents, may be doing too much… instead of just letting our children be. To be left on their own to play, imagine, and entertain themselves.
I write passionately about these things because the Holy Spirit has lit a fire in me that this is not to be ignored. Being a mother and father requires such endurance, and I am still just a rookie at it. But I believe we are accountable for the job we do.
Now, here's the hard part… every family beats to a different drum, and we shouldn't judge one another for our differences. That is harmful. We are supposed to look differently from one another… this is a good thing. Differences are inspiring and beautiful.
But as much as we accept how uniquely we all operate, we also have to encourage one another and pray for each other… to hold tightly to the core family values that the Lord so wonderfully laid out for us.
We have to value family time, meals at the table, conversation, Bible readings and teachings, respect and love for everyone, kindness to all people, tolerance and grace towards the human race, compassion for those in need, gratitude for all that we have, and contentment.
We have made some changes in our home over the last few weeks… lots of pruning for everyone if you will… strict rules and consequences… lots of training. It only took a few days to start seeing the results of our prayers and efforts. Obviously, our home is far from perfect (oh my), but we are seeing improvements. The Lord is blessing us with changed hearts and attitudes. And the kindness and obedience in my children is becoming stronger, brighter, clearer. It's amazing that when the boundaries are clearer and stronger, the children are happier and more content. We are experiencing how strongly kindness and love trumps fighting and arguing. How working together to keep up our home usually leads to laughter. And how when are eyes are open to the people around us (no t.v. and no phones) we are not missing life in front of us.
We are experiencing it.
And hopefully in the process, honoring and pleasing our Heavenly Father.
I am encouraged and inspired all the time by people around me. We will always have areas that need pruning… I want to learn how to become skilled at it. Let's do it together.
I am burdened by the way children are running their parents lives today... dictating when and how things should be done, demanding wants and needs, acting rudely and disrespectfully to anyone that hinders their goal. It is super sad to me and even scarier. And it's a huge wake-up call to me as a mother... to go back in time when children were raised with the Bible on the kitchen table, and rules, and respect for their elders, and a strong work ethic... where laziness was not tolerated and everyone pitched in to help make a home run smoothly. Where parents' main job was not to entertain their children but to raise them, prune them, love them, nurture them... to be compassionate, kind, hard-working, tender, respectful, God seeking individuals. Where kids lived outside and ran free using their imaginations. And where parents didn't feel like they were doing their children a disservice if they didn't give their children their every heart's desire. I think, we as parents, may be doing too much… instead of just letting our children be. To be left on their own to play, imagine, and entertain themselves.
I write passionately about these things because the Holy Spirit has lit a fire in me that this is not to be ignored. Being a mother and father requires such endurance, and I am still just a rookie at it. But I believe we are accountable for the job we do.
Now, here's the hard part… every family beats to a different drum, and we shouldn't judge one another for our differences. That is harmful. We are supposed to look differently from one another… this is a good thing. Differences are inspiring and beautiful.
But as much as we accept how uniquely we all operate, we also have to encourage one another and pray for each other… to hold tightly to the core family values that the Lord so wonderfully laid out for us.
We have to value family time, meals at the table, conversation, Bible readings and teachings, respect and love for everyone, kindness to all people, tolerance and grace towards the human race, compassion for those in need, gratitude for all that we have, and contentment.
We have made some changes in our home over the last few weeks… lots of pruning for everyone if you will… strict rules and consequences… lots of training. It only took a few days to start seeing the results of our prayers and efforts. Obviously, our home is far from perfect (oh my), but we are seeing improvements. The Lord is blessing us with changed hearts and attitudes. And the kindness and obedience in my children is becoming stronger, brighter, clearer. It's amazing that when the boundaries are clearer and stronger, the children are happier and more content. We are experiencing how strongly kindness and love trumps fighting and arguing. How working together to keep up our home usually leads to laughter. And how when are eyes are open to the people around us (no t.v. and no phones) we are not missing life in front of us.
We are experiencing it.
And hopefully in the process, honoring and pleasing our Heavenly Father.
I am encouraged and inspired all the time by people around me. We will always have areas that need pruning… I want to learn how to become skilled at it. Let's do it together.
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| My {4} babies! Jack is squinting, not crying. :) |
* One thing that I love that we have started doing is teaching the kids that Dad and Mom want to talk after dinner… just a chat about our day. The kids are asked to go outside or to their rooms for about 15-20 minutes while we do this. It's a priority for us, and we want them to honor that. My dear mother-in-law shared that tidbit with us one time… that growing up, her siblings and her (6 of them!) knew that they would get Daddy time after their Dad got to talk to their mom. She was his first priority. This is a big big collapse in families today… the kids are being given priority over the marriage. It takes great effort to steer away from this… Mark and I are working on it. :)
* We have cut out t.v. again… I wrote about it here. I really don't know how to explain the positive affect it has on our family… you just have to give it a try yourself. It's WORTH it.
* I mentioned above that we (as in Mark and I) are trying to stay away from our phones as well. I have been really convicted about my time spent on my phone or my nose in a screen of some sort. If we are honest with ourselves, there's just not a good reason to be attached to our phones. It's entertainment that we are trying to steer our children away from. How can we do this if all they see is our heads down looking at a screen? And it's not just our time with our children that is affected… it's time with our spouses, friends, family, co-workers, and strangers. We need to be talking more to one another. There is a really great video that says this more eloquently than I ever could. It's here if you would like to view it.
* I have to share one more link, if you are interested. It is fantastic. It's an article titled The Overprotected Kid. It is lengthy but sooo good. The gist of it that, as parents, we have got to back off of our kids a bit and just let them be kids… get into scrapes and mischief and do dangerous things. It really is an article worth reading.
* And lastly, I have a chart that I made (and then my SIL beautifully re-vamped it) that is posted in our home. It lists our rules (with Bible verses) and specific consequences for those rules being broken. I'd be happy to email it to you if you're interested in seeing it. Like I said, we all have to work together on this!
* We have cut out t.v. again… I wrote about it here. I really don't know how to explain the positive affect it has on our family… you just have to give it a try yourself. It's WORTH it.
* I mentioned above that we (as in Mark and I) are trying to stay away from our phones as well. I have been really convicted about my time spent on my phone or my nose in a screen of some sort. If we are honest with ourselves, there's just not a good reason to be attached to our phones. It's entertainment that we are trying to steer our children away from. How can we do this if all they see is our heads down looking at a screen? And it's not just our time with our children that is affected… it's time with our spouses, friends, family, co-workers, and strangers. We need to be talking more to one another. There is a really great video that says this more eloquently than I ever could. It's here if you would like to view it.
* I have to share one more link, if you are interested. It is fantastic. It's an article titled The Overprotected Kid. It is lengthy but sooo good. The gist of it that, as parents, we have got to back off of our kids a bit and just let them be kids… get into scrapes and mischief and do dangerous things. It really is an article worth reading.
* And lastly, I have a chart that I made (and then my SIL beautifully re-vamped it) that is posted in our home. It lists our rules (with Bible verses) and specific consequences for those rules being broken. I'd be happy to email it to you if you're interested in seeing it. Like I said, we all have to work together on this!
