It's difficult for me to re-cap the year... but I'll try. :)
Teaching your own child is nothing like teaching a classroom of students. Your expectations for your own child sky-rocket. Like ridiculously. The pressure you put on yourself becomes so heavy.
I am responsible for teaching her? What am I thinking? What if I don't know what I'm doing? What if she falls through the cracks because I didn't do my job correctly?
I was pretty stressed at first. Trying to fit all our lessons in to the time frame the curriculum recommended. Not skipping anything. I'm sort of a rule follower. :)
And then my awesome friends and family would remind me to step back and re-evaluate the scene. Before me was a five year old. And I'm teaching her kindergarten. Thank you loved ones for helping me get a grip. :)
I do want to give props to all kindergarten and first grade teachers and reading specialists out there. Teaching a child to read is no easy feat. English phonics rules are awful. So many "rule-breakers". Things we don't even think about... a little kid has to learn and catch on to all of them.
I know I just told you that ea says a long e but this time it's a short e. Grrrr.
We both persevered, and she learned to read. I guess I didn't mess her up too bad. :)
Aside from learning that I didn't need to keep a five year old at the table for two hours (oops), I learned so much more than the academics side.
I HIGHLY recommend the book Secrets of a Successful Homeschool Mom. I know the title is kind of cheesy, but I absolutely love this book. It helped pull into perspective the why of what I'm doing.
This is the why:
"The most important thing you'll ever do for the success of your homeschool is this: Nurture relationships. Education thrives when relationships are nurtured."
Didn't I say I didn't want Bella gone 8 hours a day, 5 days a week? Why? So, I could be with her. And why is that important to me? For our relationship. Bingo.
So, it doesn't matter how much I teach or what I teach... if I'm not building my relationship with my children in the process, then I am failing at what I set out to do.
This was so so important for me to grasp. I had to really let it sink in. And go deep. Because I don't ever want to forget it. Especially on our hardest days. There are moments when I have to decide on a route... drudge through this lesson no matter what - or - look at my girl, pull her onto my lap, and tell her a good story. I learned when I chose the "no matter what" route, it just wasn't effective. Academically or relationally.
There are times, of course, when things need to be completed in a timely manner without complaining, but I'm talking about those moments when you have a check inside you that says you're about to take it too far, and you have to make a decision.
Those are the moments when growth can take place. When I can choose my kids over my lesson plans or to-do list. I believe that check inside me is the Holy Spirit. And I am still learning how to listen and obey.
Bella and I grew so much this year, and in the end, grew very close. But there were some very difficult days. With tears from both of us. I would do some things differently of course. And not change other things. More than anything though, I am thankful for God's faithfulness in bringing us through the year, and in the process, teaching us exactly what we needed to learn. A beautiful design made special for us.
I look on this coming year with great hope. And a different perspective. That will be Part 2. :)
Lastly, I wanted to share some thoughts on this quote from the book mentioned above.
"Each family has a different heartbeat, a different focus, a different calling."
For the most part, I really feel like people in general are very supportive of one another's decisions in schooling for their children. I love the quote above because it states very simply... the truth. We are all different... thank goodness! :)
I never want to write in a condescending tone when I write about our choice to homeschool. That's all it is... a choice. It's not the way to do it. It's a way to do it. And on that note... a few words on the will of God.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:1-3
The will of God for my life is to follow Him and live righteously. It's not about what I am doing but who I am becoming in Him.
So, when we decided to homeschool, it wasn't about what we were doing but who we were becoming in the process.
If tomorrow, we decided to put her into school somewhere, it wouldn't be about what we were doing, but who we were becoming in the process.
What matters is living out our decisions righteously. In a manner worthy of our Savior's love.
Let's pray for one another as we all strive to do just that.
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| My busy little bees. :) |
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