And the SUN peeks through...

I speak literally….
This week has been glorious… my children have gotten to play and play and play outside. It is better for everyone when we can all be outside and feel the sun on our faces.

But I also speak figuratively…

I am starting to see glimpses of "light" as I feel like I have been surviving in a black hole for 2 and a half months now. This black hole I speak of is one of nausea and exhaustion due to this innocent little punkin…

(Taken 6 weeks ago)

We are expecting our fourth little VW in July, and we are full of emotions over here! Excitement, anticipation, disbelief, gratefulness, nervousness…

The disbelief comes from still being overwhelmed and beyond grateful that we are blessed with another baby. The feeling of being given another miracle is just as strong the fourth time around.

The nervousness comes from, well… having a fourth child. :) Yes, this baby was planned and prayed for! We've always wanted four children… it is a bit surreal that we are at this point. Surreal and overwhelming and exciting. All rolled into one.

I have never been sick a day in any of my other pregnancies, but this one has been tough. I mean really tough. The last two and a half months have been pure survival.

Get out of bed and don't puke. Make it one more hour and you can lay down with Max. Oh, feed the kids. Take care of the kids. And of course, muster up the energy to teach Bella school. All while praying and pleading for relief from these debilitating symptoms. My poor husband… I know everyday he walked in the door, he was scared. Scared if I was going to stay alive to keep taking care of all these kids. :)

We have missed church, bible studies, small group, play dates… social activities have been curtailed, and I know my friends probably think I have gone off the deep end. Oh, did I mention it was freezing (literally) most days during these months, so the kids couldn't go outside? My eye is going to start twitching if I don't move on.

Soooo… the sun is peeking through! I am slowly but surely starting to feel like myself again. There are some bad days still mixed in (like yesterday when extreme exhaustion took over my body and all I could do was lay on the couch while the kids ran back and forth from the backyard), but it's nothing like it was. And I am so very grateful for that.

Let me reiterate that this has been a tough tough time for not just me but my family as well. Everyone has been pulling extra weight just to get us through our days. As I can finally look back on this time with some perspective, I am seeing clearly some of the lessons the Lord has been teaching me.

~ He made it very clear that my strength is in Him alone. As strong of a person that I think I am, I am severely weak without His face and hands in my life.

~ I am just as susceptible to dark and depressing days as anybody else. Why did I think I wasn't? Because I am usually an upbeat, happy, content person? I am weak but He is strong.

~ Even on my worst days… when I laid in bed crying to feel better and the weight of my responsibilities were crushing me… He brought me through it. We survived. A new day always came. His mercies never stopped coming.

~ I've received a fresh gift of grace from my family through this. My children have been so helpful and forgiving where I have been lacking. My husband has been on overtime duty with work and home. They have taken care of me with love and grace that brings me to tears.

~ He cares enough about me to allow me to suffer through hardships, so that I can become more fully His devoted follower. And so that I can be an encourager to others, just as some have been to me through this.


I read some verses this week that were felt deep in my heart…


"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Matt. 18:4

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matt. 5:3

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider other better than yourselves." Phil. 2:3


I realized that this is a big part of this hardship for me… to be completely and utterly humbled.

And through this refining process, I desperately pray that I can stay poor in spirit... and as imperfect as I am, that my whole-hearted desire will always be to please and serve the Lord.

Max turns 2!

Well, our littlest turned 2 yesterday… it's definitely one of those birthdays (are they all like this?) that it's hard to believe and at the same time, it feels like he's been with us for forever.

I always have to put a newborn picture to remember how little they were.

Max adds so much spunk to our family. He is wilder than wild. He is curious, oh my how he is curious.  He has a variety of nicknames…

- Maxy Boy
- Max a million
- Max Danger
- And he hears "Max Palmer!" a lot :)

Some words to describe him (some already mentioned)…

- Wild
- Curious
- Mischievous
- Energetic
- Stubborn
- Determined
- Spunky
- Loud
- Busy (oh so busy)
- Sweet


Max does not like to be left out of anything that his siblings are doing. His favorite phrase is "I do!". He wants to do and have everything in consideration because it means he is just like big sis and brother. He runs, swings, climbs… always going fast and trying to keep up.

Because Max is busy, that means I stay busy. There are constant messes and predicaments to get him out of. As soon as I am cleaning up one thing, he has already moved on to the destruction of something else. It truly is like nothing I have ever seen. Evidently my MIL has seen it because Max is exactly like his daddy was. She counsels me often. :)

Max is also our family funny man. He loves to make us laugh, especially Jack. And Jack get really get some good belly laughs going at something funny he thinks Max is doing. This just fuels Max's fire. Here are some examples…

He is super silly and has some great hair that matches his personality. :) We love him!

He currently loves a few things…

- His passy and blankie… he has gotten to keep his passy longer than any of our children. Lucky third kid.
- His Daddy… my kids usually cling to me the first year and half of their life and then they make the switch to Daddy. And it is a strong switch.

- His sister… he loves his brother too but his sister loves to mother him. And he eats it up.

- He loves bucks. Hahaha. This always makes me laugh. But his daddy loves bucks, so he does too.

- He also loves to sing, and it is the sweetest little voice you've ever heard.


In all the craziness of his fast paced life, Max is super sweet and snuggly when he slows down. And we savor every moment of it. :)

We couldn't imagine life without our wild and sweet boy… Happy Birthday Max!!!

Jack turns 4!

Our little Jacky boy is four years old today. How did this happen?!

First day home

Ah, man. These pictures are tough to look at. So so little.

These two are still BEST BUDS.

And he still LOVES horses.

I have always said, and continue to say, how incredibly SWEET this little boy is. He has a very kind soul. Truly. He melts me. Just look at this face...

And this one...

Some words to describe Jack...

~ Sweet  :-)
~ Sensitive
~ Silly
~ Active
~ Imaginative
~ Kind
~ A follower
~ A cuddlier
~ Carefree
~ Easygoing
~ Likes to learn

Jack's love language is lots of hugs and kisses. He freely gives these because he needs them. He also needs a lot of affirmation. And he wants to be "rough and tough just like Daddy". He's a typical little boy... loves to play outside and get dirty. Pretend shoots anything. And he can pretend like anything is a horse... a bike, side of the couch, a bed, a swing... give him something that resembles reigns, and he is good to go.

He also loves everyone. Everyone is his friend. He'll tell you all his aunts and uncles are his favorite.

Well, this one he might have a crush on. :-)

His newest aunt 

His best buddies are his sister, brother and cousins. I love that.

Iron Man and Spiderman aka Shepard and Jack

Some of his last pictures as a three year old...

And now a four year old. On a new big boy bike!

Happy Birthday Jack! One of my prayers for you is to know and love the Lord. To need Him. And to trust Him for courage and strength even now. I love you.

Summer Travels...

Mark and I started out the summer with a 10 year anniversary trip. We went the beachy route for our honeymoon, so I knew I needed to agree to a cooler option for this trip.

Off to Colorado we went!

We had several "adventures". The first one being that when we arrived to our campground (yes, we were tent camping!), it was closed for beetle spraying. So, we were directed by a national forest operator to go "back country camping". Which basically meant... drive up this mountain for an hour and a half, and then pull off the dirt trail wherever you want and pitch your tent. We were in the middle of NOWHERE. NO ONE was anywhere. That night Mark said, "If we die up here, no one will find us for weeks. Maybe months." Perfect.

We made our way back to Bear Lake Campgrounds the next morning and set up camp. It was a great get-away full of sleeping, reading, fishing, hiking... and it sounds cheesy... but just being together having thoughtful conversations.

We left Colorado a day early and made an impromptu trip to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.

Several weeks later, we took the kids back to Carlsbad with Mark's family... the kids loved it!

Last week, I got to go on a girl's trip... It. was. amazing. This trip was dubbed Girls VaCAPEtion. Brilliant.

Sunset on the beach in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. There really are no words to describe how beautiful this was.

I have never been anywhere like it. Everywhere we went, no matter what it was, felt like I was walking around in a book or movie. It didn't even feel real.

This was our quaint little cottage...

We joked that we were on an old lady trip... visiting Plymouth.

This lighthouse beach was my favorite. I felt like I was on the set of Anne of Green Gables.

The weather was cool... even cold sometimes. We wore hoodies on the beach most of the time. And read books. And chatted. I laughed so hard with my girls. Perfection in my book.

We even threw in a little photo session. With this background... yes please!

It was really hard to leave this magical place. But I was happy to hug my family!

One day after my return, we had a staycation with my family... FULL of swimming, grilling, a bounce house, and a party boat. It was such a blast!

It has been a FULL few months with so many memories made. When I look back on it, I can only be very thankful. People tell us we stay super busy... Mark and I are both from large families. And we are both close to our families. And we have close friendships with people. So, when our calendar fills up with these people, I can only be grateful. And I don't ever want to take what we have for granted.

Thankful for our truly amazing family and friends.

Thankful for the strong love that unites us.

BLESSED.