Bella turns N I N E !

N I N E. What?! I can't really even address the fact that my baby girl is nine. Let's move on.

Take all the descriptions I have given to Bella over the years, multiply the intensity of those descriptions by nine and you have a good idea of what this girl is like.

Let's start with...

E X T R O V E R T.

No. It would be more like...

E X T R E M E   E X T R O V E R T.

She will talk to ANYONE! Any place. Any time. No age stipulations. Boy or girl? It matters not. Not only will she talk to anyone, she needs to talk to people. Like truly, it is a high need that she needs met.

Let me speak honestly for a moment. I struggle with this. The struggle became the strongest this past year. I love my girl so much I can feel it in my chest. But I simply don't have the conversational capacity to meet her daily need for verbal interaction. I don't. I am not a person that needs to talk. I'm actually the opposite. Being quiet and introspective is what helps me get through my day. Talking about all the feelings in all the world is what helps her get through her day. :)  I struggle (a lot) with guilt... Why am I so frustrated with her? Why do I always feel like she is driving me crazy? Why is my patience so thin with her? Why am I not enough for her needs? When you have one daughter and you feel disconnected from her on many levels, it gives you reason for deep disappointment. Not in her. In myself.

But you know what I've learned on a new level this year? I am not enough for her because there is only one that can meet ALL her needs. Jesus. I shouldn't ever expect to be her perfect parent. She already has one. And needing Him to fill in all of my gaps makes me cling to Him even tighter. God is so gracious and faithful. And my girl is also full of grace. She always forgives me when I ask. She always still wants to talk to me after I snap at her. And she continues to say things like, "Mom, I always want to talk to you about everything. I always want to be honest with you."

She is more than I deserve. She is nothing like I could have imagined. She is so much that I am not. I need her as much as she needs me.

If you have a child that is more difficult for you to connect with than your other kiddos,
p e r s e v e r e. It is very on purpose that you are that child's parent. There is much to learn from that young one. So many places that the Lord wants to grow you. That relationship is worth fighting for. Always.

So Bella. My extrovert. My talker. My deep thinker. My highly mature and capable girl.

We have some family members that have a slogan... "Bella for President!"  HA!

But she really could do it. She is confident, smart, discerning, diplomatic, empathetic, self-motivated, a risk-taker, a goal setter, a go-getter.

We still stress humility with her. Seriously. Be smart and confident. But don't be a know-it-all. Don't be a bragger. Don't be a show-off. BE HUMBLE. Be a good friend. Seek out the shy kids that look like they don't have a friend. Be kind. Be respectful.

We are like a broken record around here. :)

We love our girl so much. I could write on her all day. She makes us so proud. I just can hardly wait to see what she does with the rest of her life.

Oh, and even though my above descriptions of her are obviously indicative of a leader, it still surprised us when she came home her very first first day of school and told us she had been chosen as her class ambassador. You go girl! Humbly, of course. :)

Finn turns T W O !

Our littlest guy turned two last month. It always makes me a little sad to think about how quickly the years go. And then I think about all the little details... feedings, diapers, long nights... and it feels like he's been here a looong time. Time is always a weird thing to think about.

Anyways... Finn Allen. This kid is so fun and so cute. His little voice right now just makes me want to eat him up.

- He talks a lot. Full sentences. Repeats everything. Says please and thank you without prompting a lot of the time. I mention this because the older kids still need reminders for those things, and why is it that my 2 year old sometimes does a better job at it? Who knows!

- He is not potty trained yet but will potty on the toilet when his siblings ask him to. This makes me laugh. This boy is out to please.

- He is fiercely independent. Months ago he stopped sitting in his little chair to eat... he can't be bothered. He wants to be at the table with everyone else. He hasn't used a stroller in months either. Why would he? No one else is in a stroller. I have to wrangle him in his carseat (although this has gotten better) because he wants to be in the back with his brothers. He is a tough cookie to take into stores because... you guessed it... why would he want to sit in the basket if no one else has to? I could go on and on. JUST LET HIM BE BIG LIKE HIS BIG BROTHERS AND SISTER!

- To piggyback off of the last bullet, he is also fiercely strong-willed. So much so that he is encroaching on his sister's reigning title of most strong-willed child. We have had some very tough moments this summer with him. Battling out the wills if you will. Unfortunately for him (actually fortunately for him), this mama of F O U R don't play. Been there done that buddy. I will win. I will hold out longer. I feel tough mentally but at the end of a showdown with him, I am still physically and emotionally exhausted. Zapped. But he is already gotten so much better just this month. I'd like to think he is very smart and knows it's better just to behave. :)

- Just like Jack was, Finn is o b s s e s s e d with horses. He loves him some Youtube bucking bronco videos. LOVES THEM. And very lucky for him, his room he shares upstairs with his brothers is FULL of horses, bulls, barns, stalls, trailers, and cowboys.

- He is the blondest of all our kids and gets daily comments on the white-ness of his hair.

- This kid was fearless this summer in the pool. Our very first pool day, I literally had to bear hug him to get him in his puddle jumper. I knew if he would practice being in the water with the puddle jumper on, he would love the independence it gave him. I was right. He swam all over the pool by himself all summer and loved jumping off the diving board... like all the big kids of course.

He is such a cutie, and we all love him to pieces. He's the baby of course and gets our full attention when he is doing something funny or cute. This has turned him into quite the ham.

Country Living

On Labor Day of this year, I called a realtor. We had finally, FINALLY decided to move. Anyone who knows us well, knows that this was a really big decision for us. We had talked about moving for several years. Mark and I bought our first house 11 years ago, and we had been there ever since. We brought two dogs home there, took care of two litters of puppies, survived two house floods, replaced all the flooring, painted (and sometimes re-painted) every room, and most importantly, brought all four of our sweet babies home to our Faith Court home.

After Max was born, we started playing musical rooms as we tried to figure out the best arrangement for the kids. Jack and Max started out sharing, but because Max was a baby, he did better sleeping in his own room. So then, Bella and Jack shared, so Max could have his own room. And then Max got older and moved back in with Jack, and Bella had her own room back. You get the idea. So, when Finn was born... holy cow. There wasn't a good place to put him. So, his crib took a permanent residence in the master bedroom. Along with the desk and computer. It was COZY.  :)

After Finn turned one, we both new something had to give. We had to finally make the move that we had been talking about and also dreading. How do you even begin to move after living somewhere and making so many memories over the last 11 years? Several times through the process I got teary just thinking about all that had happened in this house. We were very anxious to say the least.

We got the ball rolling though, and before we knew it, a for sale sign was up in our yard.

After nine days on the market, we had a contract on it, and we were thrilled! We had also been looking for our new house and had found one that we loved... it met all of the things we were looking for and more. It was bigger, had more rooms, gave us a little over an acre of land, and was out in the country. It was actually further out than I wanted, and I originally discarded it from consideration. But after lots of insight from several people, we put an offer on it, and it was accepted. Everything was falling into place, and it felt surreal! I won't go into all the yucky details, but the next two months proved to be one of the most stressful times we have experienced. We had major delays with our buyers' financing, and our closing date kept getting pushed back. We lived out of boxes for weeks just waiting for the call. It wasn't a pretty time, and I've told more than one person that I was often disappointed in myself in not handling the situation better. But I can't change all that happened, and I have already spent much time in prayer that I will learn and grow from the whole experience.

But let's just jump to the present where I can say WE MADE IT! Our family of six finally moved into our new home, and we have been overwhelmed with gratefulness for this home that fits our family SO well. Not just the home itself, but the land around us, as well as, friendly neighbors that have been nothing but kind and helpful. We have our piece of land, in addition to, a creek and a small lake. The kids have already been exploring their little hearts out (and getting majorly dirty), and everyday my heart overflows with thankfulness.


Moving day!

I've heard myself say more than once... "No crawfish in the house!"

We are loving our fireplace... we didn't have one at our old house.

The sunrises and sunsets out here are gorgeous!

Making friends...

This was a picture I put on Instagram... it's one days worth of shoes I had to wash because they got muddy. We promptly went and invested in some rain boots!

We have a school room/game room that has a big window... I love when the morning light shines in.

And we have stairs... we decided that instead of messing with a baby gate, we were going to let this little guy master the stairs. It had it down the first day. :)

We are learning to make the most of our trips "in town". It's nice leaving the noise and busyness when we finish our errands... we start out on the county roads, the kids get quiet (sometimes), and everyone starts looking out their windows for animals. I really appreciate where we live... we aren't completely isolated... we do have neighbors and there are kids for our kids to play with which is wonderful. But we are just far enough out to enjoy the quiet, the sunsets, and all the stars. Thank you to all who prayed for us through this new chapter of our lives... we were so thankful for them. And we are so thankful to get to make new memories in our new home.

Max turns 4!

Our third born, Max Palmer, turned four yesterday.

Even though he's not the baby anymore, I've still considered him little... I think because he was the youngest longer than Bella or Jack ever were. So the fact that he is FOUR just seems really old to me.  Getting older though has brought a lot of change for this little boy. He was nicknamed Max Danger for good reason, but he has almost outgrown this title. About 8 months ago, he really started to mellow out, and he stopped doing really outrageous things. His outrageous shenanigans were constant and exhausting. And I would often end up in tears over what he was doing next. He received so much discipline, and that in itself was discouraging. But this year, that wild little boy has turned a corner and let me just tell you he is ONE SWEET BOY. Oh my goodness. The boy LOVES to be loved on... hugs, kisses, cuddles... he can't get enough.

He is still very adventurous, and he still loves loves loves critters!

Max's emotions are BIG... he's either really happy or really sad.

He fills his words with emotion too... what he says is usually pretty heartfelt.

When he doesn't like something...

"I'm not going to be so happy."

When he does like something...

"This is more better."

When his love tank is full...

"I love my daddy. I love my mommy. I love my family."

Max is very sweet to Finn... he loves the big brother role. The little brother role still involves quite a bit of crying... he gets his feelings hurt very easily, and he wants everyone to be his friend all the time. I mean, who doesn't, right?  :)

Max is also still very attached to his daddy (as I'm sure he always will be) and loves all things that his daddy loves... hunting, outdoors, animals, pocket knives. If he is walking beside Mark and holding a pocket knife in La Grange, he is living the dream.

It's cliche, but I really am grateful to be this little boy's mom. He stretches me and helps me love as big as he does. We love our Max so much.

Happy Birthday Max Palmer!