ABCs vs Play

So several months ago, I mentioned that I wanted to blog about this topic, and then I never did. Partly because of time but partly because I was chicken. It's never left my mind though, and since I am dealing with it everyday, I decided I would go for it. I will start with a disclaimer...
I know this is a touchy topic and there are lots of different points of views. My view on the subject is just my opinion and it's what works for me and my kids. That's all. :)
Okay- ABCs vs Play. What do I mean by this? I'm going to back track a little bit, and then I'll come back to the present.
Education. This is a powerful word in our society today, especially for my generation, not to mention our children's generation. When you meet someone new, what's a good conversation starter? What do you do? Where did you go to school? What did you major in? We ask this because we are interested, but also because it's something most of us can identify with. Education in my family, as well as Mark's family, was something you just did. It was never really presented as an option. It was more of "So where do you want to get your education?" not "Do you want an education?" I think that's just a sign of the times. Our country says: To do anything, to be anyone, you need an education. Now, obviously college is not for everyone and college is not the end all be all. But I think we can all agree that education in the world today is a pretty big deal. This brings me to my next point... when does education begin?
When you have a child, it's specacular. You watch them grow, reach milestones, and become more knowledgeable of the world around them everyday. It truly is fascinating to think about how much babies and toddlers are learning everyday. As parents, we watch and are truly amazed at what our children are doing and saying, and we think to ourselves, "Man, this kid is smart!" Am I right? :) Sometimes it feels like I can literally feel my heart swelling up with pride over something my child has just done or said. Examples could be: learning to walk, starting to talk, counting, saying ABCs, identifying animals, going to school the first time, writing their name, learning to read, memorizing songs, verses, books... and the list will never end. As parents, I think know we all feel a huge sense of responsibilty to our children and their "success" (whatever that means) in this world. And there is massive amounts of pressure to step up to the plate to have "that kid" or to be "that mom". I am already getting asked, "So have you decided where Bella will attend kindergarten?" and "When will Jack be starting preschool?" I watched this documentary about familes in NYC and their quest to get their toddlers into very prestigious nursery schools. It was seriously crazy. There was blood, sweat, and tears trying to get their child into the best nursery school because that would determine what pre-school, grade school, highschool, and eventually college they would get into. Whew. That stresses me out just typing that. Was their focus off? I think just a tad. :) Which brings me to MY focus.
As a former teacher, I saw lots of successful children passing through school and lots of struggling children trying to get through school. They were so many factors that contributed to this... great family involvment, no family involvement, great home life, tragic home life, good old fashion "smart" genes, frustrating learning disabilities. When I had Bella, you can imagine, I was a little freaked out by all the different scenarios she might be faced with in school. I started to feel lots of pressure to make sure she was "ready" for "life". I had seen so many children struggle academically, socially, emotionally, etc. that I wanted to do everything in my power to keep Bella from having to struggle. Again, as parents, we naturally have a protective instinct for our kids, and something erupts inside of us when they are feeling any sort of physical or emotional pain (a.k.a Mama Bear and Papa Bear come out). Back to academics... in our house out came the bathtub abcs, the color and matching games, dollar bin toddler workbooks, and flashcards. Again I'm thinking, "I have to teach her this stuff or she's going to have a hard time and struggleI want her to do well and feel good about herself." Hold up. She was 1. It's really embarrasing typing that because it sounds so shallow. She.was.1. Was I skipping over her first years of life for the sake of academics?
As Bella has grown older and when Jack was born, I began to have a shift of focus. I began to realize that their first years of life were passing way too quickly for me to lose focus of what was important. Them. Not their knowledge of colors, shapes, or letters. But them. Their character and personality. Were we playing enough? Getting dirty enough? Making enough messes? Because here is the truth: At the age of 5, our children will begin a 13 year (at least) process of going through school (more likely 17-20 years). Does that not freak any other mother out besides me? My baby is going to have to start school, and I can't have her everyday to just play? It makes me pretty sad. Where has the time gone?
Is education still important to me? Absolutely. I think we can use opportunties that arise as we "play" to teach and educate our kids. I'm not saying, don't teach your kids. Of course, we want to teach them everything we can. It's fun, and they enjoy learning. Plus, it's fun to brag about them or have them say their abcs for grandparents, aunts, and uncles. :) We are proud of our children, and we want to show it. Nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying, give yourself a break. And give your kids a break. Try worrying less about how they compare to others. Who cares if they can't do what some other kids the same age are doing. Every child is unique and made in the image of God. Let's take their first years of life to focus on teaching them self-worth, God's love for them, humbleness, love, compassion, responsibilty, self-sacrifice, respect and grace. Those are the things I want my children to carry with them into the world. If they are strong in those things, I know their education will fall into place. Some of my most loveable students were not the smartest ones. They were the most compassionate, generous, and hard- working ones.
I feel so much more balanced when it comes to this topic, and I owe that all to the Lord. It has given me a tremendous amount of peace about bringing up my children, treating them as the individuals they are, and helping them learn and grow in a way that's best for them. Several examples are...
- Bella loves to learn. Usually on a daily basis, she goes over to her art table to practice "school". Sometimes she wants my help, sometimes she doesn't. And when she's tired of writing her letters, we stop. That's what works well with her. And then we move on to Barbies and crafts!
- I will be playing cars with Jack, and sometimes I'll ask him the color of the cars (see, teach during play). Jack is funny because there are times he will give his guess at the color and then there are times when he will say, "I not say that color!" He's not in the mood, so instead, we race them across the floor. I'm not going to get myself all worked up because he doesn't want to say his colors right then.
- Bella started AWANAS, and we practice her Bible verses every week. One week, she recited her new verse but for some reason, not her review verses. I was trying to ask her why (and getting a little bent out of shape about it) when she said, "But mom, we played this really fun game called Duck, Duck, Goose." Thank you Lord for using my daughter's innocence to remind me to re-focus.

My last few thoughts for our children are:

1) PLAY with them lots and lots and lots

2) READ to them lots and lots and lots

3) PRAY for them lots and lots and lots
and
4) LOVE them lots and lots and lots

The rest will work itself out. Our children will go out into the world and know how to love and treat others, deal with disappointment, struggle and work hard, make friends, play, learn lots, be responsible, and make us so very proud.

And then we can not only brag about their 100 on their spelling test, but also how they stood up for a friend that was being bullied, sat with a new student at lunch, showed respect to their teacher, turned in lost money, or prayed for their sick brother.


"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."... And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.
                                                                                                                 Mark 10:14,16

Happy Birthday Jack!

So, the last post was about his big sis, but this one is all about him.

Such a cutie!

When you are preparing to have your second child, your head tells you that you'll love this next baby just the same, but your heart has a hard time grasping that. Well...it just happens. It is so amazing to fall so in love all over again with another child. Your heart grows and suddenly, you have more love for your family than you thought possible.
This little boy has really done a number on his mama. He is the sweetest, cuddliest, most precious little boy ever. Ok, I know I'm biased, but he truly is the sweetest! We call him a 'kind soul' around our house. :) As you can imagine, it can't be easy to enter a family where Bella is your big sister. She is a great big sister, don't get me wrong, but Jack has had to learn to hold his own. He is extremely sensitive, doesn't like to see anyone upset or hurt, and is very compassionate. He has always been a mama's boy, which I definitely can't complain about. What mother doesn't want to hold onto her little boy all day?

Lately, however, he has been ALL about daddy. It took a little getting used to, but again, what mother doesn't love that her son is so in love with his daddy? He only wants Daddy to put him to bed, only wants Daddy if he wakes up crying, Daddy is the only one that can get him out of bed, if Daddy leaves the room, Jack has to immediately find him. Where Daddy goes, Jack goes. It's crazy. And really sweet. The word hero comes to mind.

This pretty much says it all!

We realized early on that Jack is musically inclined. Before he could really talk, he was humming the tune of songs from beginning to end. He has always loved going to bed with music, and now, we have to make sure we have music on hand if we go out of town, so he can go to sleep. Music makes him happy. Right now I hear him saying to Mark, "I play gu-tar?" He loves to sing along with the songs and dance to any music. When we are in the car, I always have kid cds on hand because they can pull him out of any funk. We hear him at night through the monitor singing along to each song as it plays. He knows them all! He learned his ABCs from the song box that plays on our refrigerator. Ask him to say them, he won't. Ask him to sing them, no problem. As a previous teacher, you can imagine how insightful this is to me. He obviously has a great memory when it comes to songs, so I will definitely be tapping into that resource when he is in school.

Jack's great love right now is horses. Actually, it is more like an obsession. He constantly talks about riding "Hot Rod", he flips through page after page of horse books, and he will spot any horse we pass in the car. This is his very favorite thing to do...

Jack on Hot Rod

For his birthday, I made him this cake...

He loved it! He kept saying, "I see horsey cake, I see horsey cake!" And boy did he score on the horsey loot! Remember those riding horses with the springs? He got the new and improved one where someone was smart enough to cover the springs with padding. How many times did we pinch our legs on those springs?! He also got cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, cowboy pop guns, little toy horses, paddocks, a stable... whew. If anyone ever needs horse anything, we have it. He has been in cowboy heaven every morning since his birthday.

We had family there to celebrate with us, which is always a great time!

Happy 2nd Birthday sweet Jack!

To end this post, I leave with this picture and thought...

I have two wonderfully different and unique children, that I wonder... what is baby van wart #3 going to be like? Hmmm... I can't wait to find out! I think we are all already stretching our hearts for the love we are going to feel as a family of 5. :)

She turns 4!

What?! This baby is four years old...

Warning~ this is a "proud mama" post that's going to be a touch sappy. I know my sister-in-law will be proud that I tapped into my sentimental side. :)

As I was looking through all these pictures, it really was hard to believe that four years have already gone by since we brought her home. What an amazing experience it has been! And I know we have only skimmed the surface of her life. :) Before I talk about her birthday, I want to write a little bit about Bella herself.
If God had said to me before Bella was born, "Bethany, I am going to bless you with a daughter that you are not prepared for, that will be complex and unique, who will cause you to marvel at my greatness, who will make you laugh till you cry, who will bring you to your knees more times than you care to admit, and who will cause you to realize that you are actually the one being blessed the most from this union"... then He would have been describing Bella Kathryn to me.
It is difficult to describe what it's like having your first child. Everything is new and completely amazing, and pretty much your whole world starts spinning around this human being. It is the most wonderful and frightening experience ever! Bella was pretty much on target with all the milestones of growing into your first year. It was when she was around 14 or 15 months, that people started saying things about her. It was mainly about her language development. The girl could talk, what more can I say. The funny thing is... she hasn't stopped talking since. :) When I think about Bella, her verbal acquisition is one of the characteristics that stands out the most to me. Sometimes when I talk to Bella, I feel like I am talking to an "old soul". She told me the other day, referring to Jack throwing a fit, "Apparently Mom, he's having a tragic day and just needs some space." And she was probably right. :)I told her highly articulate uncle the other day, that Bella has been reminding me of him lately. She loves words. She loves using new words, sometimes and sometimes not in the correct context. She throws words like 'engaging, supposedly, apparently, disturbing, odd, distinctively, therefore, obviously, intriguing, disasterous' into her everyday conversation...without missing a beat. It really is the most hysterical thing to listen to. She is also obsessed with 'figures of speech'. She is actually really good at these- she makes her own up and entertains her ma and pa in the evenings. :) What I truly love about Bella is she is her own person and doesn't take herself too seriously. She is precocious, daring, strong-willed, observant, a leader, compassionate, stubborn, and really funny. I think there are a lot of unspoken expectations for this little girl, and with that, we have to be really careful. I pray that Mark and I will have the wisdom to know how to guide her to reach her full potential, while allowing her to be her. She has so much to offer in her own way, and I don't want to stifle that. Remember when I said I am on my knees a lot when it comes to Bella... I was telling the truth. She stretches me, challenges me, and grows me in ways I didn't know a child could. And I love her for it. And I love Jesus for entrusting us with His child and allowing our hearts to beat stronger next to hers. Here is my four year old...

Silly

Strong

Sweet

Joy

Eccentric

Too big

Isn't she beautiful?

She had a very memorable birthday this years. It started with her little friends at a princess tea party! Unfortunately, all the pictures are on my parents' camera that I still haven't retrieved. So you will just have to imagine seven giggly girls with make-up, princess dresses, crowns, and wands sitting a big table sipping punch and eating cake! It was so funny and outrageous. She loved it!
We also had our families over to celebrate, which was awesome.

Gotta have the Rapunzel hair!

Happy Birthday Bella-bee-walla-bee! You are pretty amazing.

Thirteen Ways to Be a Happier Mom

One of the blogs I read, The Belgexans, is very humorous and entertaining. The mom lives in Belgium (she is from Texas) with her husband and three children. She is very real, and I love her posts. She recently posted on "Twelve Ways to Be a Happier Mom". They were so true! I wrote her and asked if I could re-post some of them, as well as, add in some of my own. She said sure (and added, "even though I really don't know what I'm talking about"). Do any of us really know what we're talking about? :)

So here they are... most are hers, a few are mine, but all are right on (in my opinion).

1. Don't Sleep When They Sleep: I know you'll hear countless people tell you otherwise, but I never feel good after I take a nap. I'm sleepier, grouchier and groggy and my stomach always hurts. Therefore I say never sleep their naptime away, but instead use that time to do NOTHING. I'm serious. NOTHING PRODUCTIVE. Instead, sit on Facebook for an hour, catch up on So You Think You Can Dance. Pretty much do whatever you want and don't feel bad about it. What you should NOT do is clean, fold laundry or organize anything. Nap time = you time.

2. Meal Plan: I am a HUGE believer in making weekly meal plans, then doing weekly grocery shopping. It's seems sort of daunting at first, but once you get used to it, you'll have no idea how you stayed sane without it. No more "what's for dinner tonight?" moments. No more staring into the fridge praying a fully cooked meal will magically pop out okay, maybe you'll still want that. Meal planning is the way to go and takes a lot of stress off. It's a must.

3. Movie while Mommy cooks dinner: I reserve our movie for the day for when I need to start making dinner. There is nothing more stressful than trying to make dinner and having whiny, bored kids clinging to you. When the weather is cooler, I send them outside to play while I cook. But with the weather the way it is now, I put on a movie. It usually works out splendidly because we haven't had the T.V. on all day, and it's something different. And mom gets to cook leech free. :)

4. Have Mom Friends: Preferably you need mom friends who have kids your own kids' ages, but that's not always necessary. But what is necessary is mom friends. I'm serious. You need them. You will not survive without them. If you have mom friends, you are all in the same boat. You'll either go out a night where the daddies can babysit after the kids are in bed, or you just do more kid friendly things. There is really nothing like sitting around in the living room and having all the kids playing everywhere and you are still getting to hang out with your girlfriends. It's fun :)

5. Get Involved in Church/Community: This sort of goes with number four, but you really should get involved with your church by joining a small group. Chances are there are mom groups/family groups that are already meeting a few times a month. You have no idea what that kind of fellowship does for the soul. It will be SO refreshing to get around people of like mind once or twice a month (in addition to church of course) and just drink in that kind of camaraderie. Then as a byproduct you'll also start getting close with other people in your church and have instant "let's go to lunch this Sunday" partners, which leads to more of number 4 time. It's a win-win.

6. Be a Smoocher: I like to attack my kids throughout the day and smother them in kisses till they say some random line like "I'M A MOMMA'S BOY!" or "YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!" They laugh till they can't breathe and it helps me remember why I like being a mom even when they drop a load of stinky poo on the tile floor.

7. Go to Ikea: There are some days that you just HAVE to get out of the house, but the weather tends to be an issue here in Belgium as it rains a lot. So what is a mom to do? Why take the kids to Ikea of course! They have the free children's play area where you drop your kids off and come back for them in like 90 minutes or so. You get to go up to the cafe or peruse the showroom floor while someone else watches your kids FOR FREE. The kids have a blast and you get a break. Does it get any better than that? Then you top it off with a 1 euro ice cream cone for each kid and you become mom of the year.

8. Read: Reading is a great way to get your mind off of things whether they are mundane or intensely stressful. Read, read, read! I think it's good for your kids to see you reading too as it will inspire them to read as well.

9. Have Dance Parties: We do this a lot in my house. A lot. We just put music on and let the kids dance like crazy. The genre always changes: Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits, Jesus Culture, Abba, Taylor Swift, Hits of Broadway, IHOP Prayer Room, Disney, or the ChaCha Slide - it doesn't really matter, but it's fun to push the furniture back, turn the music up loud and dance around with your kids or just watch them dance. It always brings lots of smiles and laughs and that, my friend, is good for the soul and will make ANY mom happier.

10. Make Your Fussy Kid Have Day-Do-Over: I got this idea from my sister who does this with her kids. It works WONDERS on my son who can get in a funk. If they start getting super fussy and/or whiney and everything is the "end of the world" and tears are flowing; they need a day-do-over. I tell Shiloh he needs to go back to bed. I take him into his room (he's normally crying at this point over something that someone did that he felt has irreparably affected his life) and I give him his paci, lay him back in his bed and tell him he needs to spend some time in his room. He can get out of bed and play with the toys in his room, but he is not allowed to leave his room till I come and get him. He cries for a bit, but then chills out and sometimes falls asleep or starts playing or sometimes he just lays there. I'll leave him in his room sometimes for 30 minutes, or sometimes an hour or so. EVERY SINGLE TIME, when he comes back downstairs, his mood is dramatically different. He just needed a day-do-over.

11. Go on a Walk: With the kids in tow, just grab the double stroller, or tell them they can ride their bike and off you go on a walk... AROUND THE BLOCK. Not 3 miles down to the park. Not on an "exercise worthy" route, but just around the block. Because lets be real, if you try to go anywhere far, you'll end up carrying them or their bike back or dealing with a screaming baby and a toddler who keeps saying "I get down, I get down!" but then walks slower than molasses. Then by the time you get home you're tired and you get back feeling overwhelmed and sweaty. But if you just go around the block, the kids still felt like they did something and you're not tired.

12. Lower your Expectations: This was one of the ones in the article I did agree with, because as I've said before, no mom is super mom. Just because your primary function may be caretaker of your children and home, doesn't mean your house has to sparkle at every minute of every day, that every meal is restaurant worthy and your children have had your undivided attention the entire day. YOU HAVE KIDS. It's a lot of work. Some days you're going to rock at being a mom and some days you'll just cry your way through blunder after blunder. Don't be too hard on yourself.

13. Start your morning in prayer: I am living proof that this one simple act can dramatically affect how the rest of the day will go for everyone. It's like getting all your gear on before battle. :)

Really I think that the most important thing is just to be happy with yourself and you'll be a happier mom. I know how "duh" that sounds, but it can be hard when all you do is wipe fluid from every possible orifice on a person's body. It's hard to feel sexy when your body is being used to nourish another human being. It's hard to want to get out of the house when you feel tired just thinking about finding everyone's shoes.

What are ways you stay "happy"?

The Expected and Unexpected...

of being a stay-at-home mom. As you know, I have highly anticipated being at home with Bella and Jack, and there have been things that are exactly the way I thought they would be. They have also been a few surprises along the way.

Expected

1. One of my favorite moments of the day is scooping up Bella and Jack when they wake up in the morning. They are cuddly with big smiles on their faces, and we all know that the day is ours to do as we please. It's the best feeling.

2. Freedom... to go along with #1, I love having the freedom of an open slate everyday. To choose what we want to do (or not do). To know I have errands to run and actually be able to run them. Or to have Bella says she want to go swimming and just hop in the car and go swimming. To not have to make the last doctor's appointment of the day. I love the freedom.

3. Family time. I knew I would love this one. We have so much family time now. When I was working, Mark watched the kids while I was at work and vice versa. We were together as a family very little. He's home with us 3 to 4 days a week, and it's awesome. Today we decided last minute that we wanted to run up to Cabelas and let the kids look at all the animals, so we did and had a great time.

4. Lack of adult interaction. I knew I would miss this and some days would be hard without it. And I was right. It hasn't been horrible, but I do have my days where all I want to do is go out with a girlfriend, have a margarita, and talk about anything but kids. :)

5. Patience. I need lots of patience everyday, and I was not in the dark about this. Being at home all day, everyday with your kids is awesome yet stinkin hard at the same time. It doesn't matter if we are having a really good day or a really trying day, my patience tank is usually almost empty at the end of every day. I take a lot of deep breaths, say a lot of quick prayers, and force myself to speak slowly and calmly. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything big that tries my patience. It can be one thing after another... dogs track in mud, while I'm cleaning it up someone spills their milk on the floor (accident so don't get upset), 2 things to clean up now, one diaper that needs to be changed, phone ringing, sweat pouring down face because the back door is open for whatever reason... should I go on? See, nothing major happened- just lots of little things that make me stand up, take a deep breath, and say, "God give me patience". :)


Unexpected

1. I did not expect to miss putting on make-up and dressing in cute clothes everyday. It was a nice break at first, but then you start to feel pretty dumpy. And then it's hard to feel good about how you look (paired with the whole pregnancy weigh gaining thing). It's hard for me to justify putting on make-up though if all we're doing that day is swimming, going to the park, running to the grocery store, or staying home. I mean, make-up is expensive. Why waste it if no one you know is going to see you? I always do my hair though (kind of have to), so that's good I guess.

2. I found out very quickly that I need time for myself in the morning before the kids wake up. I like to get up at least an hour and a half before they do. I make my coffee, check my email, make my bed, read in the Word and pray, and shower. It let's me get organized physically and mentally, and I am much better equipped to start my day with the kids.

3. I love hanging out with other stay at home moms and meeting up for playdates. Playdates were never really my thing (never enough time), but I feel more relaxed now, and I have really enjoyed getting to know the women and kids in the mom's group at church.

4. I have to have a picked up house. Notice I didn't say clean. I can handle a little dust and dirt before I clean, but I can't do clutter. Now that I'm home everyday, I have to have an environment that doesn't stay chaotic. Trust me, our house gets chaotic (#5 above), but I can't let it stay that way. We pick things up before we get something else out, all beds are made, dishes are done after every meal, and there's no clutter on surfaces. I sound kind of crazy, but it's the only way I can keep from going crazy.

5. I live with a four year old that is high maintenance. I sort of knew this- just not the extent of it. Her question to me every (literally) every morning is, "So mom, what are we going to do today?" She asks for a run down starting with breakfast and ending with bedtime. I am not kidding. She loves a schedule (she definitely gets that from me.) So, we have a white board with our daily schedule what we go over every morning. :) And I have to plan lots of activities! Lots! Which brings me to #6...

6. Pinterest has saved me. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you are probably better for it. Pinterest gives me SO many fun, inexpensive activities to do with my kids. Bella's love right now is crafts, so we do crafts almost everyday. Most are fast and easy, but they keep her engaged and she loves doing them.

7. Pinterest has also evoked a love for home projects in me. If you know me, you know that words like crafty, creative, or homey do not describe me. But I am telling you, I am so into little home projects right now that I am driving Mark crazy. It's so much fun!

I'm sure I will have more as the months go by, but this is what I've come up with so far. There's never a dull moment (as my mother says).

Halfway with Baby #3

The title tells you that we still do not know the sex of our baby! :) My sonogram appointment went great, and the nurse did an awesome job of making sure we didn't see a thing. I told her as soon as we were in the room (Mark was able to go) that we did not want to know what we were having. She kept turning the screen away from us and keeping a really good angle above the belly. We were able to watch her check and measure the spine, bladder, kidneys, head, and bones which was really cool. I'm telling you, seeing your child moving around on a screen and seeing all their organs and parts never gets old. It's just amazing. The baby was moving alot, so she had the screen turned away from us quite a bit. She was able to get us a couple of pictures.

Aerial view of face- I call it the alien shot :)

Itty bitty foot

My mom thinks we are having a boy, and my doctor (who did not do the sonogram) thinks we need to start arguing over girl names. Anybody's guess is as good as mine. I have no idea.

This is me at 21 weeks:

Some of the juicy details:

- I have gained 12 lbs so far (not great but not horrible). My goal is to gain around 25.

- I don't have any crazy cravings. I have been unable to eat queso though. Anytime Mark suggests chips and queso, I literally get nauseous. Funny. But true.

- I don't have any aches or pains yet, and I don't forsee any major ones. My other two pregnancies were pretty smooth sailing.

- I try and walk an hour every night. This is as much for my mental health as it is for my physical health.

- I still have not pulled out any maternity clothes. The truth is I don't like most maternity clothes. I try to take what I have and make it work. A perfect example is the picture above. I wear a tank top (long and lean from Target) almost every day with a skirt or cotton shorts. And I wear alot of cotton dresses.

- They changed my due date yesterday from Dec. 27 to Dec. 23. Which means I will probably have a baby around the 19th if I let my doctor induce me (which I am leaning towards). My reasons for allowing him to induce are that Bella and Jack were both induced with no complications. The only complication I had was with the epidural, which is why I am going to try and not get one this time. I also am leaning towards being induced so that I can be home with all my babies on Christmas, rather than in the hospital. We'll see...

I guess that's it. Not alot to report which is probably a good thing. This pregnancy is different in the fact that I don't have alot of time to let it affect my daily routine in a negative way. I have two other children to take care of, and they don't let me sit down until rest time. :)

Thankful

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord..."

I've been awake since 5:00am because Mark's phone starting ringing. It was work to tell him they were putting him on call today. I had been asleep since before 10 last night, which is rare for me, but I went to bed with an upset stomach. Anyways, all that to say, I've been lying awake in bed thinking, thinking, thinking, unable to fall back asleep. So, here I am blogging about it. :)

I am thankful. Especially this morning. This morning is the first official day back for teachers. And I will not be there (insert bittersweet tone). I got to see my sweet sweet friends from work last week. We had a cook-out and swim party, and I begged them to invite me, even though I'm not on the "team" anymore. :) I love my friends. We laughed and talked and watched all the kiddos. And I knew I would miss them tremendously.

What I haven't missed, however, are the dreaded thoughts that usually start working their way into my head weeks before school starts. Thoughts like, "Life is about to get crazy busy again, How am I going to leave my babies everyday, Everybody is already up at school working and I'll be so behind, There's so much I need to do, If only I had a few more weeks of summer, I can't do this, I don't want to do this, I don't have a choice." Even Mark would dread the approaching day that forced us to return to crazy days, crazy schedules, and being together as a family a couple of hours a night. I can't even describe how weird, surreal, and completely unbelievable it is to me that I am not going to be at work this morning. The day has finally arrived that it was supposed to set in, and it still doesn't feel like it has. But I know it's real, and for that I am so very thankful to my precious Savior for showing me love and mercy everyday, and for giving me this extraordinary opportunity to stay home with my babies. This is something I have wanted for four years, and it's finally here! Can you hear the joy in my voice? I can't help but think I appreciate it more now than I would have four years ago.  
This does not come without sacrifice though, and I am fully aware of that, but also willing. My realtionships will change with my friends at work. This is inevitable. I will have to work that much harder to get adult interaction. It's also hard somedays to feel like I am making a difference or using my talents. Also, less freedom with money. Sacrifices. For me though, they are so minute compared to the return I am getting. There's not a hestitation or question in my mind that this is where I am supposed to be right now in my life, and I couldn't be more humbled, joyful, or thankful.
I'm going to hold onto my Bella and my Jack extra tight today and not take this moment for granted. Today will be a good day. :)

*Sidenote- I just have to add this for my own peace of mind. I am in no way through this post trying to come down on working moms. I respect everyone's decisions for their lives, and you will find no judgement from me. I am merely expressing my appreciation and joy to the Lord for the path my life is on right now. :)

Ok- on a different note, I have a sonogram today to see our little squirmy baby boy or girl. Now that Mark is on call, there is a possibility that he can come with me. This is a good thing for obvious reasons, and a bad thing because he will be tempted to peek. Remember, we are not finding out the sex of our baby (yay for surprises!), and I am may have to threaten him a little. Wish me luck.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Upcoming posts (this helps me remember what I want to blog about):

- Bella turns 4

- The expected and unexpected from being a stay at home mom

- ABC's vs Play

- Half-way with Baby #3