Lessons Learned

I think there can sometimes be a tendency to only tell the good stories or only share the cute pictures... you know, the happy times. :) As a mom, I am always encouraged when I know that other moms have the same struggles that I have. To know that bad or trying experiences, moments, days... happen to all of us . So I felt the urge to share our little experience we had today. I call it "Our trip to Target". :)

After being cooped up in the house for two days with sick kids, and being down to half a roll of toilet paper that was being shared between two bathrooms, it was time to head to the store. We were just going to grab a few things, and I told the kids they could pick out one thing from the dollar section just to do something special for them.

*side note- They didn't even know what the dollar section was because I almost never buy them something just for the heck of it. A wise person once told me always letting your children have something (no matter how small) every time you go to the store is not a good habit to start...they will expect something every time you go to the store. So, needless to say, they were very giddy.

So off we went for a pleasant little outing, just mom and her three perfect adorable children. We stopped in the dollar section first, and after what seemed like forever, they both finally decided on water bottles. The water bottles looked as if they would last a day, but whatever. We continued to shop grabbing diapers, wipes, etc and had to pass the toy aisle to get to the toilet paper. The toy aisle. Anyone else hate that aisle? Sometimes I try to avoid walking by it, but part of me wants my children to be able to walk by the toys and control their urges to shout, jump, run, squeal, or completely fall apart when they're told to "just keep walking". Well, they didn't "just keep walking". Bella darted into the Barbie aisle, so I very calmly (it always starts out very calmly) told her to come back to the cart. I explained we were not going down toy aisles today... Jack responded to this by lunging directly into someone's path to get to some dinosaur contraption. Grrrr. Still keeping my cool, I make eye contact with him, give him my sternest look, and mouth the words, "Get over here now". What does he do? Drops his water bottle, sits on the ground, and starts crying. For crying out loud! How is this falling apart so quickly?!

*another side note- Max now rides in the basket, which takes away Jack's spot. Unless I put him in the big part, but we've already made an ER visit from him falling out on his head when he was in the big part, so I try to avoid that option. So, he walks now with Bella. Good times.

I pull them both over to me, get down on my knees (lots of people are watching by this point), get very close to their little faces, and go over all the things we moms say in these moments... "this is not how I expect you to act, you are throwing a fit, we are here to get toilet paper, you have a special treat already, and the last one I added was if you continue to make bad choices while we are in the store, you will not get to take your water bottle home. Jack continues to whine and is now hanging onto the side of the basket dangling his legs. He then precedes to hit Bella.

Next scene: Mom puts Jack's water bottle on the first random shelf she sees and keeps walking. This is the hard part about following through on a 'threat' in public. The child's behavior probably isn't going to improve. And it did not. Yep, I was that mom with the wailing child, that no matter where you are in the store, you can hear them. Awesome.

Mission: Get out of this store as quickly as possible.

He continues to cry and holler, so I sweep him into an aisle and pop him on the hiney. He's too far gone. I promise him a spanking when we get home.

What surprised me the most about this whole episode was Bella's compassion for Jack. She pleaded with me to give him another chance. Please mom, she kept saying. I didn't mind him hitting me. He really wants that water bottle. I went over with her that if I never follow through with what I say, my kids won't trust my word and authority. She kept telling him Jack, stop crying and maybe you can earn it back.  (And one point she looked at me and said Mom, are you surprised I'm being so compassionate?) He didn't stop crying, and we finally made it out of the store (not without looks of pity, judgement, annoyance, and some people threw some kind looks our way). He really turned up the volume when he realized I was actually going to drive away from the store without his water bottle.

Sigh. Jack finally calmed down (after his spanking and lots of cuddle time with me), and kept asking why I took his water bottle away. Taking away his water bottle ended up being hard for all three of us. I just kept repeating why I took it away, and as he laid his head down for rest time, he said Maybe I can earn it back someday. Goodnight mom.

It's hard moms, I know. Everyone has been there or will be there at some point. You're not a bad mom. Your kids aren't the worst kids on the planet. They're learning. We're learning.

When we got home, Bella went to the kitchen and kept coming out with cups of water for Jack. She was trying to find one that would help calm him down. The winner? A small vase that the kids have recently started drinking water out of for fun. Jack has named it his beer bottle. Yep. That's my son. I hear Bella say Jack, how about some water in your beer bottle? NEVER a dull moment around here...

I ate two cookies this afternoon. And I'll probably eat two more later. Happy parenting! :)