The Van Wart Family: Once upon a time...

... before they started a family, it was just the two of them.

And time spent together was easy. Leisurely. Spontaneous. And then they had little human beings, and t~~he life was sucked out of them~~ time together was harder to come by.

Seeing as 99% of my posts are about kids/being a mom, I realized there's a subject just as important (if not more) as my kids. And that's my marriage. Because it was just the two of us before kids, and it will be just the two of us again after kids.

And if it's already hard to find time together now while the kids are still so young, what are we going to be dealing with when they're older? ... sports, activities, friends... driving them around wishing for a family dinner.

Just as raising kids takes work, being in a compatible, respectful, loving, and understanding marriage takes hard work. And that's ok. If it's too easy, or lifeless, dull, or complacent... maybe we're not working hard enough.

I've written about my mission as a mom... making time for my kids, prioritizing my day, worrying less about my to-do's. I feel such strong motivation to be the mom God wants me to be. But I also feel enormous desire to be the wife God wants me to be. To make enough room in my day for my husband. Because let me be honest. When he walks in the door at 8pm after working a 13 hour shift, the only thing I really want to do is walk into my room, close the door, lay on the bed, and just be still. I'm so tired by that point. And sometimes that is what I do. He's tired too. That's the thing about marriage and kids. You're always tired. Being aware though, that you have to work that much harder to grow your marriage, well... that's half the battle.

Be intentional. Small moments. Small conversations. Small gifts. Small acts. They all add up. They matter. They're important.

I feel like after kids, it's time to date again. Your husband that is. :)

I'm so thankful for examples we've had to observe and learn from... our parents, friends, family... when I see intentional actions to grow a marriage, I try and make mental notes. It hasn't always been easy to feel connected... we fail at times. We go to bed tired and grumpy. We put our kids first. We don't make time. We get too busy.

We are still learning (and will most likely always be learning) how to grow closer, communicate better, serve willingly, sacrifice more, forgive easily, respect deeper, and love stronger... in the midst of life swirling around us. But we must make the time. Because before there were babies, there was just us.