Jack turns S E V E N !

Jack turned 7 this month.

Look at that sweet smile! And that gigantic donut!

Jack is such a sweetheart. He loves big. Feels big. His love language is affirmation and lots of hugs. He works hard at being brave and stepping out of his comfort zone. Now that sounds like his mama. :)

Jack is really enjoying school except when he is woken up for school. Ha! Almost every morning, he voices his opinion on getting up while it's still dark outside. Get some food in him though, and he perks right up. :)
He is making friends and tells me he even has a crush. Oh for pity. I'm down playing this. :)
Jack is getting A LOT of attention at school regarding his height. He always has, but now that he is at school, it is a very concentrated amount of attention. And he does not like it. He mentions is all the time... "I don't want to be tall anymore. Kids always ask me why I'm in first grade..." and on and on. Bless his heart. He is already shy, so the added attention feels terrible to him. He is VERY tall. He is also the oldest in his grade. I've had several occasions with other moms or teachers where I have referenced Jack, the tall first grader, and they immediately know who I am referring to.

We continue to encourage him and try to help him see the benefits. And I do think the comments are dying down.

*Sidenote: Bella EMBRACES the attention her height  brings her, and she keeps telling Jack to respond with an enthusiastic "Thank you!". Hahaha.

Jack is by nature a follower... he is very easy going and goes with the flow. I do talk to him though about it being okay to not do something he doesn't want to just because a friend is dragging him along. It's okay bud to want to play something different! You can politely say no! I've heard him stand up for himself several times, and I literally high-fived him. That's my boy! :)

He likes sports, music, video games, legos, books... in particular Hank the Cowdog, the outdoors, his Ripstick, his cousins, his friends, oh... and food. The boy loves food!

I really couldn't be prouder of this boy, his caring heart, his willingness to please, his kind soul, and all the ways I see him growing in his courage and accomplishments. Happy Birthday Jack Anson!!

TRI 2.0

On Labor Day, which was also my birthday this year, I competed in and finished my second Olympic distance triathlon in Austin.

Look at this stellar crew...

From left to right... my mom competed in her first triathlon! We were so proud of her! She trained hard (especially for the swimming), and she did it... just as we knew she would. :) Candace, my sil, competed in her 3rd triathlon... this was her first Olympic. This was my brother Micah's first triathlon, and Erika's (his wife) second tri. On the far right is Erika's mom who competed in her first tri and rocked it.

I AM SO PROUD OF THIS GROUP! Also, our support crew and cheering sections were the BEST. There is nothing like passing your people shouting your name during your race... it gives me goose bumps as I write it.

We were blessed with cloud cover for most of the morning because competing in a race in September is HOT. We were also blessed with no rain, so we got to do the swim portion in Lady Bird Lake (which was canceled last year). This was my favorite leg of the race. It was early in the morning, the water was calm and cool, and it was just a really fun 1 mile swim.

Excuse the MarathonFoto... the files for these pictures are outrageous.


After the swim, you run to transition, get your bike gear on and ride 25 miles through really pretty downtown Austin. The cycling is so fun... it's a loop that you complete 4 times so you get to see your cheering crowd over and over again. Lots of spots to go fast... one small but painful hill that after 4 times I was sick of. :) I love the cycling portion!

After cycling, you are back in transition to drop your bike and switch to your running shoes. The last leg is my least favorite. Not because I don't enjoy running, but because I don't perform well running in the heat on spent legs. But we all pushed through. I carried an energy gel pack with me and sucked on that throughout the run. The run is two 3 mile loops... 1/3 into the second lap, if I'm being honest, I was hurting. :) But I was self talking, "1, 2, 1, 2"... telling my feet to keep moving. :)

I finished, and my beautiful daughter was there to run the last few feet with me, and we crossed the finish line together! What a sweet moment for this mama!

Another one in the books! It was the most fun birthday I've had in a long time! I got to accomplish a goal and be with people I love while doing it. Happy Birthday to me. :)

S c h o o l

If you hadn't heard, we made a BIG change this year. We sent Bella and Jack to school!

Let me see if I can address all the questions... :)

Why? I had homeschooled for 4 years, and the bottom line is that I felt like that season had ended. It was a great experience. It really was. It was hard. Really hard. But I know I wouldn't go back and do it any differently. It was just the right amount of time. It fit.

But then it didn't. It was getting harder and harder to address everyone's academic needs, as well as, physical, emotional, and disciplinary needs. Four is a lot of little people to tap into. Everyday there was an area where I felt like I had really blown it that day. Maybe we got all our school work done, but I had yelled all day in the process. Maybe we didn't get any school work done, and now I was personally responsible for my kids' lack of education. :) Dramatic, yes. But it is a difficult juggling act! Homeschooling is so so fun. It's flexible. It's insightful. It's hard. And for me, it was starting to become grueling. So grueling in fact, that it was majorly affecting my relationship with my kids. It was becoming harder and harder to enjoy them. They weren't doing anything wrong. It just developed into an unsavory fit for our family. The season was over.

But what then? Public school? Could we? Enter freak out mode. Oh man. I did SO MUCH praying. It was never really over IF we should put them into public school. We knew that was the best option for us. It was more over "Lord, please help me get a grip over my irrational fears. Help ease my anxiety. Help me hold fast to what your word tells me. You protect us. You are faithful. You go with us wherever we go."

The more I prayed, the less anxious I became. Funny how that works, huh? The more we talked about it with the kids, the more interested they became. The more I looked into our "new to us" little district, the more I fell in love with it.

A small community. A close community. A few schools all in a row on the same street. Great schools. Great school pride. Reputable athletics. Neighborhood kids in these schools. The prospect of friends that live close by! It was all sounding so perfect.

If you know me, you know I like simplicity. I like home. I have a hard time with busyness. The idea of my kids being 4 miles down the road at school, in our little city, at a great school, meeting sweet friends... well, it's almost as if the Lord orchestrated the whole thing. Oh. He did. :)

He knew our season of homeschooling would come to an end and we would need a school district we felt comfortable in. He knew this before we knew it. One of the biggest things I have been reminded of through this whole process is how much God loves us, how deeply He cares for us, and how much I can see both that love and care in the smallest of details.

Like for example, the first time we visited the school... everyone was so nice and warm. They were genuinely excited that we had come for a visit. They answered all of our questions, walked us around, and my kids (and I) left feeling excited!

On Meet the Teacher Night, I got in the car afterwards and got all teary. The Lord had given my kids such good matches for their personalities. Jack got an older, sweet, sincere teacher who as soon as he walked in wrapped him up in a hug and said, "Jack, I'm a hugger. Are you a hugger?" Ummm. That's his love language! Bella got a spunky fun teacher that is a mom to 5 girls! They immediately hit if off, and I had to pull Bella out of the room so other families could meet the teacher. I was overwhelmed with God's attention to our important details.

So, we are 4 days in...

The consensus is that WE ALL LOVE IT.

I know, I know... 4 days does not a year make. This will get tiresome just like everything else repetitive in life. I'm a realist. But that being said, our little routine is going really well this week.

Bella is making so many friends, being a leader as class ambassador, trying to find shy girls that look like they need a friend, learning her way around the school, and having fun doing her school work.

Jack, our sweet timid Jack, is soaring! He is more and more confident everyday. It makes me teary. This boy has grown so much in his courage. He is making friends, loving (and getting loved on by) his teacher, having fun in p.e., and assures me he is paying attention and using his "yes ma'ams". :)

Max is being big brother at home to Finn. They are playing and getting along so well. All day long, I hear their sweet little voices talking and laughing with each other. I have started preK/K with Max, and he is doing great. He is a quick learner, has good attention, and I think is enjoying his one-on- one time with mommy.

Finn is devouring his brother time with Max. He absolutely loves having Max's time and attention. And he is getting good naps in.

Mark is taking Bella and Jack to school every morning before heading into work. He says he really enjoys dropping them off and watching them interact with their friends. It sounds like they've got a good little drop-off routine.

And me... well, it's AMAZING. I'm laughing as I type that. It's a giddy laugh. It really is so wonderful! For SO many reasons. I love love love a schedule. I can't help it. I just do. I love getting up early and getting the day started. It is amazing what I have accomplished before 8:30am this week. Haha! I love sending Bella and Jack off to a school that I know they are loving, where I know they are cared for, and where I know they are growing and learning and making friends. It's so refreshing that for the first time in a long time I get to miss them! I look forward to picking them up and hearing about their day. I have the capacity to talk to Bella all evening about whatever is on her mind. I have really enjoyed my time with Max and Finn. I love getting to do a little bit of school with Max each day. Running errands with only two kids is where it's at. I love that these two boys play so well together, and it allows me to clean, organize, do my bible study, work on projects, finish the laundry in one sitting, type 3 blog posts in one morning.... all things I have done in 4 days. I love feeling like I have the time and emotional health to love on each of my kids individually, as well as, my main man.

These are all the roses. We still have bickering, discipline, whining... the usual.

But, nonetheless, it's been a really good week. We have high hopes for this year. I continue to pray daily for this year, the growing we are all going to do, the opportunities to be a light in the dark, the easy lessons, the hard lessons, the fun, the tough stuff...

My sil sent these verses to me Monday morning, and we prayed them over our children. And then we squeezed them tight and sent them off to school.

"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."   Joshua 1: 7-9

All back together after the first day!

Bella turns N I N E !

N I N E. What?! I can't really even address the fact that my baby girl is nine. Let's move on.

Take all the descriptions I have given to Bella over the years, multiply the intensity of those descriptions by nine and you have a good idea of what this girl is like.

Let's start with...

E X T R O V E R T.

No. It would be more like...

E X T R E M E   E X T R O V E R T.

She will talk to ANYONE! Any place. Any time. No age stipulations. Boy or girl? It matters not. Not only will she talk to anyone, she needs to talk to people. Like truly, it is a high need that she needs met.

Let me speak honestly for a moment. I struggle with this. The struggle became the strongest this past year. I love my girl so much I can feel it in my chest. But I simply don't have the conversational capacity to meet her daily need for verbal interaction. I don't. I am not a person that needs to talk. I'm actually the opposite. Being quiet and introspective is what helps me get through my day. Talking about all the feelings in all the world is what helps her get through her day. :)  I struggle (a lot) with guilt... Why am I so frustrated with her? Why do I always feel like she is driving me crazy? Why is my patience so thin with her? Why am I not enough for her needs? When you have one daughter and you feel disconnected from her on many levels, it gives you reason for deep disappointment. Not in her. In myself.

But you know what I've learned on a new level this year? I am not enough for her because there is only one that can meet ALL her needs. Jesus. I shouldn't ever expect to be her perfect parent. She already has one. And needing Him to fill in all of my gaps makes me cling to Him even tighter. God is so gracious and faithful. And my girl is also full of grace. She always forgives me when I ask. She always still wants to talk to me after I snap at her. And she continues to say things like, "Mom, I always want to talk to you about everything. I always want to be honest with you."

She is more than I deserve. She is nothing like I could have imagined. She is so much that I am not. I need her as much as she needs me.

If you have a child that is more difficult for you to connect with than your other kiddos,
p e r s e v e r e. It is very on purpose that you are that child's parent. There is much to learn from that young one. So many places that the Lord wants to grow you. That relationship is worth fighting for. Always.

So Bella. My extrovert. My talker. My deep thinker. My highly mature and capable girl.

We have some family members that have a slogan... "Bella for President!"  HA!

But she really could do it. She is confident, smart, discerning, diplomatic, empathetic, self-motivated, a risk-taker, a goal setter, a go-getter.

We still stress humility with her. Seriously. Be smart and confident. But don't be a know-it-all. Don't be a bragger. Don't be a show-off. BE HUMBLE. Be a good friend. Seek out the shy kids that look like they don't have a friend. Be kind. Be respectful.

We are like a broken record around here. :)

We love our girl so much. I could write on her all day. She makes us so proud. I just can hardly wait to see what she does with the rest of her life.

Oh, and even though my above descriptions of her are obviously indicative of a leader, it still surprised us when she came home her very first first day of school and told us she had been chosen as her class ambassador. You go girl! Humbly, of course. :)

Finn turns T W O !

Our littlest guy turned two last month. It always makes me a little sad to think about how quickly the years go. And then I think about all the little details... feedings, diapers, long nights... and it feels like he's been here a looong time. Time is always a weird thing to think about.

Anyways... Finn Allen. This kid is so fun and so cute. His little voice right now just makes me want to eat him up.

- He talks a lot. Full sentences. Repeats everything. Says please and thank you without prompting a lot of the time. I mention this because the older kids still need reminders for those things, and why is it that my 2 year old sometimes does a better job at it? Who knows!

- He is not potty trained yet but will potty on the toilet when his siblings ask him to. This makes me laugh. This boy is out to please.

- He is fiercely independent. Months ago he stopped sitting in his little chair to eat... he can't be bothered. He wants to be at the table with everyone else. He hasn't used a stroller in months either. Why would he? No one else is in a stroller. I have to wrangle him in his carseat (although this has gotten better) because he wants to be in the back with his brothers. He is a tough cookie to take into stores because... you guessed it... why would he want to sit in the basket if no one else has to? I could go on and on. JUST LET HIM BE BIG LIKE HIS BIG BROTHERS AND SISTER!

- To piggyback off of the last bullet, he is also fiercely strong-willed. So much so that he is encroaching on his sister's reigning title of most strong-willed child. We have had some very tough moments this summer with him. Battling out the wills if you will. Unfortunately for him (actually fortunately for him), this mama of F O U R don't play. Been there done that buddy. I will win. I will hold out longer. I feel tough mentally but at the end of a showdown with him, I am still physically and emotionally exhausted. Zapped. But he is already gotten so much better just this month. I'd like to think he is very smart and knows it's better just to behave. :)

- Just like Jack was, Finn is o b s s e s s e d with horses. He loves him some Youtube bucking bronco videos. LOVES THEM. And very lucky for him, his room he shares upstairs with his brothers is FULL of horses, bulls, barns, stalls, trailers, and cowboys.

- He is the blondest of all our kids and gets daily comments on the white-ness of his hair.

- This kid was fearless this summer in the pool. Our very first pool day, I literally had to bear hug him to get him in his puddle jumper. I knew if he would practice being in the water with the puddle jumper on, he would love the independence it gave him. I was right. He swam all over the pool by himself all summer and loved jumping off the diving board... like all the big kids of course.

He is such a cutie, and we all love him to pieces. He's the baby of course and gets our full attention when he is doing something funny or cute. This has turned him into quite the ham.