Jack turns 5!

My oldest boy turned 5. Gosh, I can still remember is round little baby face and belly laugh that only his daddy could get out of him.

His daddy can still get the hardest laughs out of him. Jack loves to laugh, and it's pretty easy to get him going. His two year old brother can get him going pretty good, as well as, his cousins Shepard and Kale.

Jack is still just the sweetest little boy. He has a really big heart. Just this year, he came over to me with big puppy dog tears when while he was watching Dumbo… his sensitive little spirit couldn't handle Dumbo's mom getting put in jail.
Last night, Mark was reading to him and there was a part about a boy's best friend moving away. Mark said that Jack tapped on his arm… when Mark looked down at him, he had tears in his eyes and said, "Dad, can we skip this part? It just makes me sad."
As his mother, let me just say, it'll break your heart.

Jack is a pretty independent kid… all throughout the day you can find him playing quietly by himself… he is very into Legos right now. He still loves his horses too. He tends to be a follower in groups… at the park or in playgroups. Anyone is his friend. He'll tell me what he likes about a certain friend, and he'll even tell me his saw a pretty girl. :) The first "pretty girl" to hurt my boy's feelings might want to run from this mama bear. :)

Jack loves the outdoors, as any little boy should! He can name many birds thanks to his daddy. And he's pretty good at identifying types of dogs as well. One thing we have noticed this year with Jack is that he has a pretty remarkable memory. Small details that you wouldn't think he'd remember, he does.

I started school with Jack this year… I knew it would be different than teaching Bella, so we just kind of started slow to get a feel for how it would go. He is doing great and has really surprised me. As I already mentioned, he has a great memory, so that is definitely to his advantage with school. He pays good attention to detail… since starting school, he points out parallel and perpendicular lines around the house or out and about. This morning he put his nerf gun in front of my face to show me how the arrows were lined up, and then he said, "Odd." What he was telling me is that there was an odd number of arrows because not all of them had a pair. Ha! Who knew he would care or notice things like that? Definitely not what his sister is interested in. I am loving seeing their differences in the way they learn and the things that interest them. It's really fun.

Jack's love language is verbal praise and affirmation. And LOTS of hugs. His heart is big and full of affection for people in his life. I pray big things for this 5 year old boy. I pray his kindness and sensitive spirit will reach those that need just what he can offer. And through it, he will show them the love of Christ. He makes me so proud… what a blessing it is for me to be his mother.

EKP



Happy Birthday Jack Anson!!!

FAVW

Finn Allen Van Wart was born July 27, 2014 at 11:37am. 8 lbs 6 oz and 21 inches long. He was our biggest baby by over a pound, although, in both of our families of giants, 8.6 really isn't considered big. Our competition is 9 pounders. :)

I had a fast labor… my doctor broke my water around 8:30, and he was born 3 hours later. His birth was everything I had hoped it would be… it was such an answer to prayer. After three failed (and scary) epidurals and one pain-med free birth with our first three children, I wanted things to go differently this time. My prayer is that I would be able to receive a safe, effective, and complicated-free epidural… and that is just what happened. I am still so thankful when I think back on it.

My mom and two friends were in for the birth… it was so special to have them there with us. And we had his birth photographed… Amazing. The pictures are raw, emotional, and simply beautiful. If you are thinking of having the birth of your child photographed, you must use Erin Blinn. She is DFW photographer, and she is incredible at what she does. I am so happy that we have Finn's first seconds, minutes, and hours held in photographs.

We had lots of family and friends come visit us at the hospital and when we got home. I feel so blessed. It's an incredible feeling to have the birth of your fourth child celebrated as if he was your first. :)

Finn Allen is named after my dad, Mark Allen. A wonderful man to be named after.

*Side-note: Our sons are named after the three most prominent male figures in their lives… Jack Anson after Daddy (Mark Anson), Max Palmer after Grandpa (Thomas Palmer), and Finn Allen after Pop (Mark Allen). I LOVE how that worked out!

Finn fits into our family perfectly. I adore him. Mark adores him. The kids absolutely adore him. He is loved WELL.


And now on to the pictures...

And now Erin Blinn's photos…

Bella turns 7!

Even though I rarely post on my blog… I have to when my babies have a birthday. Speaking of birth day… we celebrated the birth of our fourth child just three weeks ago. But that is a different post. Even though it happened before big sis turned 7. Don't ask me what my reasoning is on writing her post before little brothers.

Bella turned 7. I have to say… this birthday was the hardest one for me to say out loud. It sounds really old. And I just can't believe we've already had 7 years with our girl. 

Bella is still "Bella"… smart, funny, strong-willed, articulate… she's a planner, likes to be organized, enjoys cleaning… definitely has taken after me in that area. 

She still loves crafts, and recently, has really gotten into fashion. She loves clothes, shoes, purses, make-up, and she has a strong opinion on her style. And so it begins. 

This year a few new qualities have emerged in Bella. The first being her compassionate heart. She notices situations or problems and is very sympathetic towards people who are suffering or in need. She doesn't just talk about it… she thinks and prays and writes about it. I've always prayed that she would have a kind and compassionate heart, and it is so wonderful to see that developing in her.

She also has gotten very mature. She understands almost anything… situationally speaking. She mulls things over in her head that she has heard or seen, and then when she talks about it, she is right on the money. It could be a family situation, observing someone's behavior and why they might be acting a certain way, she observes people's dispositions… any number of things… the girl is discerning. We have to be careful what we choose to share with her because we know she will understand it. But do we want her little seven year old mind to have to process it? 

The last big change we've seen in her this year is her extremely sensitive conscience. She becomes greatly burdened by things she's done or said that she knows aren't pleasing to the Lord. She will come into our room late at night, "confessing" a time she lied a year ago (I'm not kidding), and she'll be in tears over it. She is a believer, and I've explained to her that the Holy Spirit living inside of her can give those convictions and pulls to not ignore what we know is right and wrong. And I encourage her that this is a good thing. She is growing so much spiritually… it truly is exciting to see in your child. And a good reminder for me to not ignore the Holy Spirit when I feel checks in my spirit.  

Mark and I are so proud of our girl. At times, she has been tough to "train up", but we are seeing God's blessings in her and are so thankful and overwhelmed by them. What a beautiful little girl she has become… inside and out!

EKP

EKP

Happy Birthday Bella Kathryn!!!

Little House on the Prairie

Does anyone else secretly want to go back in time and live in the Wilder log cabin on the prairie?

I know my daughter and I want to every time we visit the Log Cabin Village in Fort Worth. Her aunt made her a "prairie" dress and bonnet... she loves it. And what kid doesn't think it would be awesome to climb up a ladder into a loft to sleep? Don't even get me started on sweet Ma and soft spoken Pa.

I start this post off with this because I long for a simple, quiet, purposeful life. Away from the fast-paced life that is consuming our society. Not away from community but away from busyness.

This is no secret. I naturally lean towards a slow-paced day... simple and quiet days calm my spirit and renew me. Now really, how calm can my days really be with three (almost four) little ones to care for? Calm for me means days home... playing, caring for the kids and house, doing school, talking to a friend, and lots of outside time. 

We recently had a "re-boot" in our home that I have also referred to as "boot camp". Bella would be more than happy to tell you all about it. :)
The last, oh say, six months have been... difficult for me. Lots of factors... stress, over-commitment, fatigue, sickness... just one of those growing pain seasons. In the process, my home was becoming a place that needed some… maintenance. When I say my home, I mean the people and the things in it. 

Mark took the kids camping one weekend in April and I had some wonderful re-grouping/project tackling time, and through that process, I realized that I/my family needed some "pruning". Oh, I love that word. A dear friend sent me this quote,

"When we can become skilled at selectively knowing what to prune out of our lives, what remains becomes stronger, brighter, clearer."   -Lisa Byrne

So what areas needed to be pruned in our family. Well, lots of areas. 

For me... my attitude, my motivation, my consistency, my priorities, my vision.

For my children... their attitudes, disobedience, discontentment, selfishness, unkind spirits.

Mark and I had some really good conversations about our vision for our family, and what we felt were big priorities for us. When you are examining what you want for your family, one thing Mark has taught me, is that you have to stay focused on your family and not look around. I don't mean, don't learn from those around you, but more of... don't compare or make decisions based on what society tells you your family should look like. That is tough. But really try to make those decisions with God and your spouse. 

One huge priority for our family right now is to live simply, slowly, and intentionally. To fight the busyness that surrounds us. One way we try and do that is to not over-commit to things. Now, every family's tolerance for commitments and busyness is different... our tolerance is definitely on the low scale. Things tend to go a bit hay-wire for us if we get too busy. One thing in particular that is affected is our ability to train up our children the way we believe we are supposed to. And that affects our family as a whole. 

One thing that has been on my heart lately is the current generation of children right now... and how "we" (meaning society as a whole) are raising them. If closely examined, it is down right scary. Some questions that come to mind are…

Are we raising our children to...

- be mindful of others and their feelings?

- be thankful without complaining?

- say thank you no matter what food is placed in front of them and thank the person who prepared it?

- not expect something all the time?

- go into a store and know there's a purpose for going in and it's not to get them something no matter how small?

- not constantly be entertained with things, activities, projects, outings, treats?

- be content to play together during the day cooperatively?

- say yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, and no sir to all adults?

- clean up after themselves, help with food preparation, help with dishes and chores around the house without complaining?

- not whine?

- not demand things?

- not interrupt people speaking... in person or on the phone?

- obey without delay?

- speak with kindness and love to everyone?

- speak with respect to their elders?
- do things for themselves?
- be humble?

These simple things are lacking in a lot of adults, as well as, our children today, yes? Mine included. And I want to fight it. Will you join me?

I am burdened by the way children are running their parents lives today... dictating when and how things should be done, demanding wants and needs, acting rudely and disrespectfully to anyone that hinders their goal. It is super sad to me and even scarier. And it's a huge wake-up call to me as a mother... to go back in time when children were raised with the Bible on the kitchen table, and rules, and respect for their elders, and a strong work ethic... where laziness was not tolerated and everyone pitched in to help make a home run smoothly. Where parents' main job was not to entertain their children but to raise them, prune them, love them, nurture them... to be compassionate, kind, hard-working, tender, respectful, God seeking individuals. Where kids lived outside and ran free using their imaginations. And where parents didn't feel like they were doing their children a disservice if they didn't give their children their every heart's desire. I think, we as parents, may be doing too much… instead of just letting our children be. To be left on their own to play, imagine, and entertain themselves.

I write passionately about these things because the Holy Spirit has lit a fire in me that this is not to be ignored. Being a mother and father requires such endurance, and I am still just a rookie at it. But I believe we are accountable for the job we do.

Now, here's the hard part… every family beats to a different drum, and we shouldn't judge one another for our differences. That is harmful. We are supposed to look differently from one another… this is a good thing. Differences are inspiring and beautiful.

But as much as we accept how uniquely we all operate, we also have to encourage one another and pray for each other… to hold tightly to the core family values that the Lord so wonderfully laid out for us.

We have to value family time, meals at the table, conversation, Bible readings and teachings, respect and love for everyone, kindness to all people, tolerance and grace towards the human race, compassion for those in need, gratitude for all that we have, and contentment.

We have made some changes in our home over the last few weeks… lots of pruning for everyone if you will… strict rules and consequences… lots of training. It only took a few days to start seeing the results of our prayers and efforts. Obviously, our home is far from perfect (oh my), but we are seeing improvements. The Lord is blessing us with changed hearts and attitudes. And the kindness and obedience in my children is becoming stronger, brighter, clearer. It's amazing that when the boundaries are clearer and stronger, the children are happier and more content. We are experiencing how strongly kindness and love trumps fighting and arguing. How working together to keep up our home usually leads to laughter. And how when are eyes are open to the people around us (no t.v. and no phones) we are not missing life in front of us.
We are experiencing it.
And hopefully in the process, honoring and pleasing our Heavenly Father.

I am encouraged and inspired all the time by people around me. We will always have areas that need pruning… I want to learn how to become skilled at it. Let's do it together.

My {4} babies! Jack is squinting, not crying. :)

* One thing that I love that we have started doing is teaching the kids that Dad and Mom want to talk after dinner… just a chat about our day. The kids are asked to go outside or to their rooms for about 15-20 minutes while we do this. It's a priority for us, and we want them to honor that. My dear mother-in-law shared that tidbit with us one time… that growing up, her siblings and her (6 of them!) knew that they would get Daddy time after their Dad got to talk to their mom. She was his first priority. This is a big big collapse in families today… the kids are being given priority over the marriage. It takes great effort to steer away from this… Mark and I are working on it. :)

* We have cut out t.v. again… I wrote about it here. I really don't know how to explain the positive affect it has on our family… you just have to give it a try yourself. It's WORTH it.

* I mentioned above that we (as in Mark and I) are trying to stay away from our phones as well. I have been really convicted about my time spent on my phone or my nose in a screen of some sort. If we are honest with ourselves, there's just not a good reason to be attached to our phones. It's entertainment that we are trying to steer our children away from. How can we do this if all they see is our heads down looking at a screen? And it's not just our time with our children that is affected… it's time with our spouses, friends, family, co-workers, and strangers. We need to be talking more to one another. There is a really great video that says this more eloquently than I ever could. It's here if you would like to view it.

* I have to share one more link, if you are interested. It is fantastic. It's an article titled The Overprotected Kid. It is lengthy but sooo good. The gist of it that, as parents, we have got to back off of our kids a bit and just let them be kids… get into scrapes and mischief and do dangerous things. It really is an article worth reading.

* And lastly, I have a chart that I made (and then my SIL beautifully re-vamped it) that is posted in our home. It lists our rules (with Bible verses) and specific consequences for those rules being broken. I'd be happy to email it to you if you're interested in seeing it. Like I said, we all have to work together on this!